Friday, March 31, 2006

Things to cross off my 'Things to do before I die list"

429) Have sex with an incredibly hot actor in his dressing room at the theatre he is performing at.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Well, the date with the doctor went rather well as you may be able to tell from the lack of updates for several days. I am rarely a 'take em home on a first date' kind of gal, but we sparked so well we practically set the Sushi Bar on fire, so it had to be done.

I got my wishes from the last post and thanks to the combination of the clocks and the cocks going forward I only managed about 4 hours sleep......

So far he has ticked all the boxes well enough, now all I have to do is reign in my flight or flight impulse and give it a chance to progress a little. It may not, but usually I am out of that door before the wet patch has dried so I will see how this goes.

Friday, March 24, 2006

I have a date tomorrow with a handsome young doctor who will be taking me out for Sushi. How cosmopolitan is that. Naturally I assume he is rich and well hung, maybe I have watched too much ER and Sex and the City. My friend Lee thinks that I am just shallow. I disagree personally, we all have a shallow and a deep end, is it my fault that I am just not that great a swimmer?

No, he seems like a lovely young man and is a gay geek too, which is always a bonus. The only trouble is I asked him what he did at work yesterday and he answered "stuck needles in people's eyes"

It's a good job I have a strong constitution!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Oh what a terrible feeling it is not being ultra rich. At work today I was so utterly bored I accidentally went on Amazon and bought myself an x-box 360 and a TV as well as a pre-ordered copy of the new Tomb Raider game. Well let's face it, if I can't actually bask in the divine presence of Ms Jolie, I may as well play with the pixellated form that the represented on the silver screen.

I just wish someone told Lara that green shorts are SO last season.

Now all I need to do it put my wallet into counseling to help it recover from the shock. Poor thing, ah well I do need to get used to spending on impulse for when the millions start rolling in.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Am I really starting to worry about turning 30 soon? I was wondering how much I can rely on my fabulous genetic background to keep me looking youthful and mischievous . Is my daily bath in the blood of 20 virgins no longer enough to keep the wrinkles at bay? (It's brilliant by the way, one of the Radox blends)

I found myself today stealing a go at my housemates thickening shampoo for some reason. Curiosity I suppose seeing as my hair is naturally thick and curly and almost impossible to do anything with. I don't know whether it is because I already have a lustrous mane of locks but I somehow ended up with a mini afro. It was SO not a good look I promise you.

I even found myself doing sit-ups for the first time since my dizzying heights of fame as British Junior Judo Champion and was pleasantly surprised to find that I managed 40 in my first go. This is all a very worrying trend and I immediately had to go away and drink some gin and eat half a pack of pringles. I suppose spending the afternoon with the Divine Lee will do this to a person. HOW he maintains his fabulousness whilst munching on crisps guffawing at badly dubbed Japanese school girl superhero's one will never guess.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

It was brought to my attention today on a website that a young, gay, Iranian man is being deported back to his home country despite the fact that homosexuality is punishable by death there. Read his own story at

and an article about this at

It apalls me that in this day and age the British Government can allow a young man to be sent home to certain death for something so normal.

I wrote to my MP about this (You can tell I am getting close to the big three-Oh as I am getting better and better at writing 'strongly worded letters'. If you want to do the same, please write to your MP, a great way to do so is
The office bitch (surprisingly not me) was moaning about having to do early starts today, wanting extra money for getting out of bed early. He cited the example of Kate Moss who purportedly does not get out of bed for less than 10 grand a day. Now apart from this confusing me (I always thought it was 10 grammes) it made me realize how accustomed I have become to my late partying and subsequent late starts at work. If things change I may be forced to find employment elsewhere with evening work as an essential. Maybe as a high class rent Boy, greeter at a trendy nightclub or a neorosurgeon working on complicated nocturnal brain diseases.

Sadly I think the training to become the greeter would prove too difficult and what rent boy would get clients to come "South of the River". Sigh...Neurosurgeon it is then.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Well, if this doesn't look like one of the best/worst films ever I don't know what would. It's a horror/action bonanza with it's tongue crammed firmly in it's cheek. The premise is simple.....

What would happen if a bunch of deadly snakes were to get loose and run rampage on a plane. (Yes I KNOW snakes can't run, but slither fast rampage just doesn't ring well with me)

Ladyhags and Gentlefags I bring you......


Thursday, March 16, 2006

In my ever increasing quest to be a better homosexualist I took the next step and now I fear I will never look back.

You see it all began last Friday. A parcel arrived at work containing my new shoes that I bought from eBay. Lovely shoes they were too. Lime green canvas Fred Perry ones and I loved them to bits so decided to wear them to the party I was to attend that night.

The only problem was that the Deep blue shirt I was wearing clashed HORRIBLY with said shoes so I was in a bit of a quandary as to what to do. In a fit of fashion pique I rushed out to Covent Garden at lunchtime to the Fred Perry boutique and bought myself a matching top for £45. I was terribly embarrassed at having to ask the shop assistant's advice on what would go with the shoes, so I fell back on the old "I am colour blind and can't decide for myself" routine. Well, it's partly true, I do LIVE with 2 colour blind girls (I am reliably informed that it is NOT because of inbreeding, even though they are sisters)

Now, I have always relied on my Northern Pride to prevent me from ever entering a shop that sold anything that could be considered fashionable, let alone anywhere that charged £45 for a T-SHIRT! But I did it anyway today and my gods I LOVE it! It is so comfortable, fits so well and looks fabulous. I made a grand entrance at the party and someone suggested that I make the "preppy look" my signature style.

Now, if I knew what that was, I would consider it.....
Well what a patently inauspicious start to this blog. Apart from meeting Gillian Anderson at work the other week nothing at all is luring me away from my comfortable chambers in Peckham Heights. (Gillian Anderson by the way is a beautiful midget with a British accent, a friendly unassuming demeanor and far too much class for such a little person)

I Had a lovely lazy day off work today even though my lie-in was interrupted by my mother ringing to gossip about relatives. Bless her, but she had to go out to her aqua-aerobics class so I got away early. I always thought it a tremendous shame that she wasn't Jewish frankly, she would make an amazing Jewish Mother and I have already had the circumcision so there would be very little work to do. It's almost a shame that I have a full head of hair, I imagine those little skull-cap's that Jewish men wear would be amazing at hiding bald spots.


Must dash off to see a housemate about some washing-up.