Monday, March 24, 2008

Breasts and Lengths

I went swimming today friends! Yes indeed. This may not sound particularly special until you consider the fact that I have not stroked the breast since I was a teenager in more ways that one. Thats fifteen years ago since I was last in a public pool apart from a brief splash in Malaysia with an Australian footballer, but that time I was far more interested in a different type of length. *Ahem*

Speaking of Length, I actually managed one. A full length of the pool is something I could only ever dream of at school and I was still struggling to manage a width while all the other students were diving in the deep end fully clothed practicing rescue swimming. Bur now, NOW I can do it, yes my biceps hurt like blazes, but in a nice way. It was nice to achieve something in an exercise situation and makes me feel more positive about my gym orientation tomorrow.

I did have a brief moment of panic in the public locker room. Not so much the fact that there were 20 or so winkies flopping around near me (after all that is normal for a monday) but more the fact that I forgot that I have a fetching pink triangle tattooed on my buttock, a reminder of my arty days as a student. It practically says "I'm staring at your manhood" to anyone that notices it. I AM, but that is beside the point, I don't want anyone to assume. Ah well, who cares, maybe it will save the inevitable wondering about people sexuality as the gay ones will give me that knowing look and the straight ones will run away. Ah well, maybe this fitness thing will help me catch them!

I know I promised a love life update, but this was better for now. Sooon my pretties, soon...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Down with FAGS!


Darlings! I am currently undergoing something of a reboot at the moment which I thought I would fill you in on. Not in an electronic sense but a physical one. After a worrying check up at the doctors I have been put on a diet and fitness regime to help sort out my heart and liver which are, to use the technical term, a bit fucked. No, I haven't been caning it or doing a Claire from Steps....

This is purely down to a damn finicky genetic thing (and OK a love of cake). SO anywho, I have shifted a stone so far, quit the fags for good, stopped drinking for a month and next week I shall join the gym.

I promise this is not going to turn into one of those tedious diet blogs, but I WILL fill you in on what goes on in the gym changing rooms and try and take pictures of fit city gents changing. I still have some vices after all.....

Anyway, I didn't want to mention anything on here in case it all went to pot but as I am a fair way into it now and showing no signs of cracking I thought I would tell you at last.

Oh and for my non brit readers Fags = cigarettes, I could never give up my gay man habit...

Next update: Love life....