Ahh, I love the onset of Winter, really I do. There is something so fresh and clean about it, that crisp, clear tang in the air. The turning on of the heating so that you feel toasty inside and exhilerated when outside. I always think of the onset of Winter as a clean slate, the promise of snow coming to make everything white and fresh and new.
This last week has been very good for me indeed. I am over my heartbreak enough to get on with things and genuinely wish the two guys well together. I have met so many great men over the last few weeks in my dating overload and even managed to reconnect with the Sexy Dr Dick that some of you may remember from earlier this year. Although he is now in a relationship so incredible sexual tension aside it will all stay strictly above the waist....
So yes. The weight is continuing to fall off, I lost a full half a stone last week and people keep commenting how good I look. Of course this makes me feel super confident and hence the high success rate on my recent dates. Mmmmmmm dates. Oh and come monday it will be a whole month since I quit smoking! Go team Gaymo, bring on the male cheerleaders....
Friday, November 03, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
This week was a particularly fruitful one. I lost 4lbs (total lost so far 11) and it is now 2 weeks since I was a smoker. If you could see through this computer screen, you would see what I like to call, my smug face. It's a face I enjoy using I should really take a picture soon...
My mother has also been inspired by me to start a diet too, I wish her the best of luck, but I worry about some of the funny ideas she seems to have about calorie control. Here are some of my mothers beliefs about calories....
1) If it is stolen from someone else's plate, the calories do not count.
2) If it is eaten whilst cooking, the calories do not count.
3) If you leave a forkful of food on a plate, then you have consumed only half the calories originally on that plate.
4) Free food is free from calories.
5) Chocolate consumed whilst walking to the shops contains no calories at all.
6) Being drunk burns off calories and therefore negates any that were in the alcohol.
Ah well, it could be worse, my father doesn't even believe calories exist. All 26 stone of him.
In the meantime people have started to notice my weight loss and this has helped make me less attractive by the broadening of the smug face. Funnily enough I seem to be a bit swamped by boys at the moment too, but I think that is a whole other entry in itself (fnar) ........
My mother has also been inspired by me to start a diet too, I wish her the best of luck, but I worry about some of the funny ideas she seems to have about calorie control. Here are some of my mothers beliefs about calories....
1) If it is stolen from someone else's plate, the calories do not count.
2) If it is eaten whilst cooking, the calories do not count.
3) If you leave a forkful of food on a plate, then you have consumed only half the calories originally on that plate.
4) Free food is free from calories.
5) Chocolate consumed whilst walking to the shops contains no calories at all.
6) Being drunk burns off calories and therefore negates any that were in the alcohol.
Ah well, it could be worse, my father doesn't even believe calories exist. All 26 stone of him.
In the meantime people have started to notice my weight loss and this has helped make me less attractive by the broadening of the smug face. Funnily enough I seem to be a bit swamped by boys at the moment too, but I think that is a whole other entry in itself (fnar) ........
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I have not been blogging for long enough, or regular enough for this to be something I would get nominated in, but check out the Gay Bloggies Awards and think of me or my dear friends The Pirate King and Glitterforbrains.
Of course, if you did vote for me in any of the categories, I would love you forever!
Of course, if you did vote for me in any of the categories, I would love you forever!
Friday, October 13, 2006
So, it is day 4 of GaymosexualXP. That is 4 days of not smoking (WOO-YAY), 4 days of dieting and 4 days of exercise. Unfortunately, it is 1 day of dirty, stinking, rotten cold which left me with 1/2 hrs sleep last night and all the energy of a dissected frog and a slight fever.
Now, I don't know whether it was fever, nicotine withdrawal or hunger related psychosis, but at 10pm this evening I decided it would be a good idea to go for a jog. I haven't jogged since I was 13. That was in the eighties. To further complicate the matter, I decided on a gentle 10 minute jog to start me off, but got horrendously lost and 35 minutes later wheezed myself back into the house and shower and collapsed upon the bed. I may wait until the cold has gone before attempting this again and stick to my trusty rowing machine where I can work-out to the sensual encouragement of America's Next Top Model.
But yes, apart from the cold I am doing surprisingly well. My calorie intake today was 1250 and I don't feel hungry, I am not craving ciggies and my MA remains P.
Now, I don't know whether it was fever, nicotine withdrawal or hunger related psychosis, but at 10pm this evening I decided it would be a good idea to go for a jog. I haven't jogged since I was 13. That was in the eighties. To further complicate the matter, I decided on a gentle 10 minute jog to start me off, but got horrendously lost and 35 minutes later wheezed myself back into the house and shower and collapsed upon the bed. I may wait until the cold has gone before attempting this again and stick to my trusty rowing machine where I can work-out to the sensual encouragement of America's Next Top Model.
But yes, apart from the cold I am doing surprisingly well. My calorie intake today was 1250 and I don't feel hungry, I am not craving ciggies and my MA remains P.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Insomnia is a bitch isn't it? When it reaches 5:16 am and one is still wide awake and having got up again after a pointless 4 hours of lying abed trying to sleep is it proper practice to simply write the night off and get on with your day? Is a few hours of bad sleep better than no sleep at all? Or is it like jet-lag and should you push through in the hope of a better nights sleep the next evening? Will I be able to flirt effectively at the important party I am due to attend in 15 hours?
So many questions and yet, so much time on my hands!
So many questions and yet, so much time on my hands!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Recently I have found a distinct lack of awareness amongst my fellow homosexuals on a particularly important matter. To remedy this, I have decided to bring to your attention some information on this topic.
Ahem.
Bring it on has a sequel.
It is called Bring it on Again.
This sequel has now spurned a further film entitled Bring it on Again:All or Nothing
Thankyou for your time.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
A Gaymosexual's Guide to Dating. Lesson 2
Ok, this it a brief section on tips and tricks for that phase in between the first meeting and the first date. You have ordered your food, so to speak, and this lesson is the breadsticks and olives you nibble on before the meal.
1) This is especially for my friend Miss CASSt. Never EVER state how you feel towards someone in a text message, an email or most importantly a letter. Flirting is fine, casual questions and arrangements are fine, information and banter is fine. But I cannot stress enough how much of a misjudgment it is to even write an innocuous statement such as "I really like you". One can never gauge the tone of a written statement accurately, no matter how well you write it, also, you never know the mood of that person when they receive it and this can change their perception of it hugely. SO NO, Put that pen DOWN girl.
2) Seed your communications with interesting facts about yourself, but never elaborate too much. For example "It was SO busy at work today, its a good job I used to dance or I would NEVER have made it through the crowds" When he asks, "what dance did you do?" Or "You must be flexible then?" you did, say "Oh, I will tell you all about it when I see you, it's too much to go into now"
Obviously, you can put any activity or hobby in there, but this tip works on two different levels. A) It makes you intriguing and he will be thinking about you and what you are going to tell him, thus keeping him at the forefront of your mind and B) Saving up important conversation points for the date, thus leading to....
3) Think of 10 questions that you can ask your beau during the evening to spur the conversation on. Sometimes on a first date the conversation can flow and it will get to 1am and you will wonder where the time/your knickers have gone. Other times, there can be a perfectly enjoyable evening with a lovely man, but those awkward moments where you are very aware that one of you needs to think of something to talk about QUICKLY!
So, have in your head some questions that relate to him in some way another. Think of what you DO know about him Work, job, hobbies, friends in common etc and save them up for any potentially dry moments in the evening. Dry is NOT what we are aiming for here people. Try and avoid any of the usual "What is your favorite band/movie/ice-cream" and go for something that will spark off a story. If you are on a date with a man and he finds that at the end of the evening he has talked about himself for the whole night, I guarantee you that he will want that second date and come away thinking he had a brilliant evening...
Next.... The hours BEFORE the date.
Ok, this it a brief section on tips and tricks for that phase in between the first meeting and the first date. You have ordered your food, so to speak, and this lesson is the breadsticks and olives you nibble on before the meal.
1) This is especially for my friend Miss CASSt. Never EVER state how you feel towards someone in a text message, an email or most importantly a letter. Flirting is fine, casual questions and arrangements are fine, information and banter is fine. But I cannot stress enough how much of a misjudgment it is to even write an innocuous statement such as "I really like you". One can never gauge the tone of a written statement accurately, no matter how well you write it, also, you never know the mood of that person when they receive it and this can change their perception of it hugely. SO NO, Put that pen DOWN girl.
2) Seed your communications with interesting facts about yourself, but never elaborate too much. For example "It was SO busy at work today, its a good job I used to dance or I would NEVER have made it through the crowds" When he asks, "what dance did you do?" Or "You must be flexible then?" you did, say "Oh, I will tell you all about it when I see you, it's too much to go into now"
Obviously, you can put any activity or hobby in there, but this tip works on two different levels. A) It makes you intriguing and he will be thinking about you and what you are going to tell him, thus keeping him at the forefront of your mind and B) Saving up important conversation points for the date, thus leading to....
3) Think of 10 questions that you can ask your beau during the evening to spur the conversation on. Sometimes on a first date the conversation can flow and it will get to 1am and you will wonder where the time/your knickers have gone. Other times, there can be a perfectly enjoyable evening with a lovely man, but those awkward moments where you are very aware that one of you needs to think of something to talk about QUICKLY!
So, have in your head some questions that relate to him in some way another. Think of what you DO know about him Work, job, hobbies, friends in common etc and save them up for any potentially dry moments in the evening. Dry is NOT what we are aiming for here people. Try and avoid any of the usual "What is your favorite band/movie/ice-cream" and go for something that will spark off a story. If you are on a date with a man and he finds that at the end of the evening he has talked about himself for the whole night, I guarantee you that he will want that second date and come away thinking he had a brilliant evening...
Next.... The hours BEFORE the date.
Friday, August 25, 2006
A Gaymosexual's Guide to Dating. Lesson 1
I suppose I have known you all long enough now to trust you with a few secrets of mine. A word of advice or a piece of helpful encouragement to all you guys and gals out there that want help and, naturally, come to me to get it. It's ok, don't be shy, we can treat this as a learning experience. You scratch my back and I will, well, do pretty much anything you want for a bag or marbles and a slice of cheese on toast.
I have decided to start a series of advice posts in this blog to share with you all my particular area of expertise....Dating. I consider myself something of an expert at dating, its something, like abusing prescription medication, that I have done enough of to have developed a certain knack for. I think it is only fair that I share this knowledge with YOU my pretties. Please use it well...
Ok, the first piece of advice I am going to share with you is something useful in the pick-up stage. That first meeting in a bar, theatre or park late at night that can signify the beginning of a beautiful relationship. It's a technique that has served me well over the past *mumble* years and one I now bequeath to you. It is called the 3 look rule and it goes something like this...
Stage 1.
Stage one of the 3 look rule is the easiest to implement and the most difficult to follow through on. It simply involves the making of eye contact with a chosen hunk and holding it for approximately 3 seconds. If the eye contact is reciprocated proceed to stage 2 and if not repeat stage 1 with another hunk of choice. It is important to remember not to make any kind of facial expression during stage one, other than the locking of eyes.
Stage 2.
After successful completion of stage one a short break must be undertaken of no less than 10 seconds and no more than 3 minutes for maximum effect. Consider your movements and body posture carefully during this break, if you are drinking an embarrassing alcopop, slide it surreptitiously across the table so that it appears that someone else is drinking it. Suck in your gut and casually arrange your hair/clothes to maximize your attractiveness. When ready re-establish eye contact with Mr Gorgeous and hold for approximately 5-10 seconds. During stage 2 you may allow a faint smile to appear round your mouth and a slight raising of one eyebrow is also permitted, but PLEASE make sure that both of these movements are very subtle indeed. Once this task is complete proceed to stage 3.
Stage 3.
This is the most important and delicate phase of the whole operation and must only be undertaken when you are satisfied that the first two stages are complete and the object of your affection is suitably intrigued. It is important that you are looking up at your subject, so unless you have hobbit heritage like myself it may be best to be seated during this exercise. If the subject of your lust is a midget or in a wheelchair then I would advise squatting casually by a wall as if rummaging though a bag. After a break of at least 1 minute and no more than 5 you must again make eye contact with your victim, remember you MUST be looking slightly UP at him for this to be failsafe. This time you must maintain eye-contact for as long as you see fit but just before you break away I want you to smile shyly at your future husband, briefly look down and quickly regain contact. Brighten that smile and look away again.
This is all you need to do now and I will guarantee that you have hooked your man. Do not make eye contact again with him until HE approaches you, which he now has no choice but to do. If you have followed all these procedures correctly and he has not come over you are permitted to go to the bar/toilet/bush and ever so gently brush past him, but this is generally unnecessary.
Good luck my lovelies and part 2 will come soon where I will impart some handy hints as to how to behave when you are actually ON a date, so that man just can't get enough of you. .
I have decided to start a series of advice posts in this blog to share with you all my particular area of expertise....Dating. I consider myself something of an expert at dating, its something, like abusing prescription medication, that I have done enough of to have developed a certain knack for. I think it is only fair that I share this knowledge with YOU my pretties. Please use it well...
A Gaymosexual's Guide to Dating. Lesson 1
Ok, the first piece of advice I am going to share with you is something useful in the pick-up stage. That first meeting in a bar, theatre or park late at night that can signify the beginning of a beautiful relationship. It's a technique that has served me well over the past *mumble* years and one I now bequeath to you. It is called the 3 look rule and it goes something like this...
Stage 1.
Stage one of the 3 look rule is the easiest to implement and the most difficult to follow through on. It simply involves the making of eye contact with a chosen hunk and holding it for approximately 3 seconds. If the eye contact is reciprocated proceed to stage 2 and if not repeat stage 1 with another hunk of choice. It is important to remember not to make any kind of facial expression during stage one, other than the locking of eyes.
Stage 2.
After successful completion of stage one a short break must be undertaken of no less than 10 seconds and no more than 3 minutes for maximum effect. Consider your movements and body posture carefully during this break, if you are drinking an embarrassing alcopop, slide it surreptitiously across the table so that it appears that someone else is drinking it. Suck in your gut and casually arrange your hair/clothes to maximize your attractiveness. When ready re-establish eye contact with Mr Gorgeous and hold for approximately 5-10 seconds. During stage 2 you may allow a faint smile to appear round your mouth and a slight raising of one eyebrow is also permitted, but PLEASE make sure that both of these movements are very subtle indeed. Once this task is complete proceed to stage 3.
Stage 3.
This is the most important and delicate phase of the whole operation and must only be undertaken when you are satisfied that the first two stages are complete and the object of your affection is suitably intrigued. It is important that you are looking up at your subject, so unless you have hobbit heritage like myself it may be best to be seated during this exercise. If the subject of your lust is a midget or in a wheelchair then I would advise squatting casually by a wall as if rummaging though a bag. After a break of at least 1 minute and no more than 5 you must again make eye contact with your victim, remember you MUST be looking slightly UP at him for this to be failsafe. This time you must maintain eye-contact for as long as you see fit but just before you break away I want you to smile shyly at your future husband, briefly look down and quickly regain contact. Brighten that smile and look away again.
This is all you need to do now and I will guarantee that you have hooked your man. Do not make eye contact again with him until HE approaches you, which he now has no choice but to do. If you have followed all these procedures correctly and he has not come over you are permitted to go to the bar/toilet/bush and ever so gently brush past him, but this is generally unnecessary.
Good luck my lovelies and part 2 will come soon where I will impart some handy hints as to how to behave when you are actually ON a date, so that man just can't get enough of you. .
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I swear tonsillitis not only makes one feel absolutely horrible, but it prevents me from doing several of my favorite things as well. Namely: eating, talking and kissing boys. (the obvious sex life implications glossed over for I am still a gentleman who insists on tongue to tongue before tongue to anywhere else). Anyway, yes. I am feeling utterly sorry for myself in a way that only the homosexual male can do. Thank the gods that tonsils are not required to type and I can still seek sympathy lamely on the interweb.
It is a good job I am not back in work until Tuesday, this gives me plenty of time to recover, but on the other hand, I can't really go out either. I AM SO BORED! It didn't help that the bin men woke me up this morning by being particularly loud. Usually I am not one to complain when a bunch of burly men clamor outside my bedroom window, in fact it is positively welcome under normal circumstances. SO, maybe expect more regular updates of a particularly self pitying Bent over the next few days. I know you will all love that.
Oh, and before any smart alecs out there get any ideas. It is definitely tonsillitis and not bruising, if only I were so lucky. Although the still unhealed carpet burns on my knees are another matter entirely...
It is a good job I am not back in work until Tuesday, this gives me plenty of time to recover, but on the other hand, I can't really go out either. I AM SO BORED! It didn't help that the bin men woke me up this morning by being particularly loud. Usually I am not one to complain when a bunch of burly men clamor outside my bedroom window, in fact it is positively welcome under normal circumstances. SO, maybe expect more regular updates of a particularly self pitying Bent over the next few days. I know you will all love that.
Oh, and before any smart alecs out there get any ideas. It is definitely tonsillitis and not bruising, if only I were so lucky. Although the still unhealed carpet burns on my knees are another matter entirely...
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I had lunch this evening with a millionaire porn baron. No, really I did. He's a good friend of mine who has recently given up the reigns of his porn empire to focus his attentions on more pressing matters such as masturbation and sleeping until noon. Bastard. I am sure if I ran such an empire I would be bounding into work with more energy than Gary Glitter at a cub scout camp. But I suppose even the greater things in life loose their charms after repeat exposure. One only has to think of 'Friends', 'Desperate Housewives' and S Club 7 to remember how something shiny and wonderful soon turns into something faded, dull and so annoying that you have to lock it in the attic (But you still can't quite bring yourself to throw away).
It always motivates me when I am surrounded by rich, successful, good-looking people. I always find myself either reaching for the knife, or reaching towards my diary in a vein hope of filling my life more usefully. I know that most of you consider boys, glamour and the attention of celebrities a worthwhile pursuit, but I can't help feeling that there is something more to it all. That there is something I can give back...
So, I have been working on a top secret project that you will hear about very soon.....
It always motivates me when I am surrounded by rich, successful, good-looking people. I always find myself either reaching for the knife, or reaching towards my diary in a vein hope of filling my life more usefully. I know that most of you consider boys, glamour and the attention of celebrities a worthwhile pursuit, but I can't help feeling that there is something more to it all. That there is something I can give back...
So, I have been working on a top secret project that you will hear about very soon.....
Sunday, August 06, 2006
We have Thing 1 and Thing 2's mother here for a few days, always lovely to see her as I get treated as the sons he never had, she even brings us pink iced buns, a sure fire way to get in my good books. Anyway, as Thing 1 is in Canada at the Gay Games with her girlfriend I took the opportunity to find out as many embarrassing stories about Thing 2 as possible.
Completely in keeping with her character I found out that her first word was 'Bugger'. Still a favorite of hers today. It is interesting to find out what people's first word was and to note whether it bore any relation to their characters in later life. Mine was either 'flower' or 'banana' so either gay or food obsessed would work perfectly for me. Another friend of mine's first word was 'car' and they are now a taxi driver. What was your first word and did it bear any relation to who you are now? Obviously we can discount mum or dad unless you have turned out to have particularly incestuous tendencies, in which case it could be a funny story. For us anyway...
Completely in keeping with her character I found out that her first word was 'Bugger'. Still a favorite of hers today. It is interesting to find out what people's first word was and to note whether it bore any relation to their characters in later life. Mine was either 'flower' or 'banana' so either gay or food obsessed would work perfectly for me. Another friend of mine's first word was 'car' and they are now a taxi driver. What was your first word and did it bear any relation to who you are now? Obviously we can discount mum or dad unless you have turned out to have particularly incestuous tendencies, in which case it could be a funny story. For us anyway...
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I implore you all to go to iTunes or your nearest music store and purchase a copy of Betcha Bottom Dollar by the Puppini Sisters. They are the fabulous act that I saw at Duckie the other week and are well worth a listen to. Campy, quirky and clever they are a modern swing group consisting of 3 gorgeous girls and a hunk-filled band. As well as classic swing tunes such as Mr Sandman and Jeepers Creepers, they also do perfectly harmonised versions of camp modern classics such as I Will Survive, Heart of Glass and Wuthering Heights and a sublime version of Panic by the Smiths....
It's all well worth a listen to. Go on, feel smug and discover them before they hit the big time!
It's all well worth a listen to. Go on, feel smug and discover them before they hit the big time!
Friday, July 28, 2006
BAH! That's what I have to say on the matter! BAH! I am in a complete mada because my lovely plans for the weekend have been utterly ruined. I had a lovely 4 day weekend off though a judicious use of holiday and day-off swapping and was planning on spending some quality time catching up with the sexy Doctor who has now moved to London. However, work cancelled my holiday as there is not enough staff in to cover the Saturday, SO unless I can blackmail one of my colleagues into working an extra shift I have to forgo that pre-planned pleasure and face a hoard of moaning old biddies wanting their theatre fix for the day.
I think I may have to go watch Barbarella just to cheer myself up. I suppose I can get my check-up on Sunday.......sigh....
I think I may have to go watch Barbarella just to cheer myself up. I suppose I can get my check-up on Sunday.......sigh....
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Wow, sorry for the lack of updates people. It's been pretty manic for me in the last few weeks. Not only has work gone Margot Kidder crazy with a new computer system that nobody knows how to work, but I have been going to more clubs and pubs than a newly released Big Brother contestant!
That is NO excuse I know, BAD gay, bad BAD gay!
But seriously, what else is one to do when Big Brother turns to shit and the weather is too beautiful to stay inside looking at shirtless men on the interweb? Thankfully, a small solution presented itself to me yesterday in the form of the return of Britain's Next Top Model on that channel aimed at Gay Men and Bored Housewives Living TV! It's a guilty pleasure watching 13 beautiful women reduced to tears by a panel of botoxed Z-list celebrities and evoked a secret desire in me to show them just how to pose and walk down that catwalk even though the last time I wondered down one it was aged 7, dressed as a woman for a charity evening arranged by my scout master. Yes, it worries me too looking back on it.
So how the hell are you all? Gossip please...
That is NO excuse I know, BAD gay, bad BAD gay!
But seriously, what else is one to do when Big Brother turns to shit and the weather is too beautiful to stay inside looking at shirtless men on the interweb? Thankfully, a small solution presented itself to me yesterday in the form of the return of Britain's Next Top Model on that channel aimed at Gay Men and Bored Housewives Living TV! It's a guilty pleasure watching 13 beautiful women reduced to tears by a panel of botoxed Z-list celebrities and evoked a secret desire in me to show them just how to pose and walk down that catwalk even though the last time I wondered down one it was aged 7, dressed as a woman for a charity evening arranged by my scout master. Yes, it worries me too looking back on it.
So how the hell are you all? Gossip please...
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Some of you may remember a while back I spoke of 'Beta testing' new men. Well, now the theory has evolved into something I like to call 'Quantum Dating'. You see it's all about the possibilities....
Basically you date as many people as possible and see if something sticks. Also, because you are dealing with idea's like Quantum Theory and Schrodinger's Cat, you date all these people so can have tremendous amounts of fun, but you are also NOT dating them so there is no need to worry about commitment until that Quantum possibility asserts itself.
GENIUS, hand me my Nobel Prize now, I have cleared a space amongst my Buffy DVD's, I have hired a Tux (which I look FABULOUS in) and have an acceptance speech prepared!
Basically you date as many people as possible and see if something sticks. Also, because you are dealing with idea's like Quantum Theory and Schrodinger's Cat, you date all these people so can have tremendous amounts of fun, but you are also NOT dating them so there is no need to worry about commitment until that Quantum possibility asserts itself.
GENIUS, hand me my Nobel Prize now, I have cleared a space amongst my Buffy DVD's, I have hired a Tux (which I look FABULOUS in) and have an acceptance speech prepared!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I am sorry there are no photo's from the end of my Birthday week, but I think I was maybe too drunk to remember the camera, let alone use it!
Friday was the big gay party. Lots of fun although I ended up outside for most of the night chatting to a sexy boy who looked like Jack from Lost! Both The Pirate King and Glitter for Brains were there and had my hormones positively raging, proving that one can be 30 and still be as horny as a teenager. DAMN those boys are hot, I insist you check them out immediately.
Saturday, I am afraid I let you all down horribly and took a day off, sorely needed I tell you. Sunday was the barbecue and in the absence of a straight man I was forced to take charge and do it all myself. I am sure there is some primal instinct that kicks in for us boys when fire is involved. I lovingly tended the flames and then started slapping the meat about before offering it to my guests. So, no change there then!
Now, sadly I am back at work and attempting my 'new, healthy Clint'. The not smoking lasted all of 2 days, but I intend to try again very soon, once work is a tad less stressful. At least since May I am down from 25 a day to around 10. Surely the eating well and exercising count for something though? Moral support here guys?? I mean good health is just the slowest possible way of dying and if you lived a completely healthy lifestyle you are going to feel pretty stupid lying in your hospital bed being treated for nothing...
NO! I mustn't think like that. I shall carry on with the rowing machine and the fresh veg/healthy food and attempt the smoking cessation again soon. I think I was a little stupid trying to do it all at once.
Friday was the big gay party. Lots of fun although I ended up outside for most of the night chatting to a sexy boy who looked like Jack from Lost! Both The Pirate King and Glitter for Brains were there and had my hormones positively raging, proving that one can be 30 and still be as horny as a teenager. DAMN those boys are hot, I insist you check them out immediately.
Saturday, I am afraid I let you all down horribly and took a day off, sorely needed I tell you. Sunday was the barbecue and in the absence of a straight man I was forced to take charge and do it all myself. I am sure there is some primal instinct that kicks in for us boys when fire is involved. I lovingly tended the flames and then started slapping the meat about before offering it to my guests. So, no change there then!
Now, sadly I am back at work and attempting my 'new, healthy Clint'. The not smoking lasted all of 2 days, but I intend to try again very soon, once work is a tad less stressful. At least since May I am down from 25 a day to around 10. Surely the eating well and exercising count for something though? Moral support here guys?? I mean good health is just the slowest possible way of dying and if you lived a completely healthy lifestyle you are going to feel pretty stupid lying in your hospital bed being treated for nothing...
NO! I mustn't think like that. I shall carry on with the rowing machine and the fresh veg/healthy food and attempt the smoking cessation again soon. I think I was a little stupid trying to do it all at once.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Carrying on the details of my Birthday week (HA the Queen only gets 2 Birthdays, I get a whole week!) Monday was coffee and cake on the south bank with work people, and Tuesday was a meal at Cafe Gallipole Again on Upper Ground, Islington. Cafe Gallipole Again is a WONDERFUL Turkish restaurant, recommended to my by Dame Aleasha Swiffer. The Dame herself came along, as well as Ruthless, Lisa and Paul, Emma the Beast, J and Robin and his new girlfriend who's name I couldn't be bothered to learn... I know that's awful of me, but I just can't bring myself to care. I am positive he just brought her along to try and spite Lisa who is now happy with Paul since Robin dumped her 2 years ago. Ah well, the meal was great and the company sublime. I even had the cute waiter slip his arm around me to wish me happy birthday!
As you can see the place is absolutely unreal, everything is carved from ice, the walls, the bar, the tables and even the glasses you drink from.
Here is Thing 2 peering through the ice portal carved into one of the booths, nicely modeling her silver poncho. The place was absolutely freezing and a welcome respite from the heat outside, although I can't see people staying down there for too long. It is somewhere ideal to take someone out on an unusual date, kick starting the evening before you go for a meal...
There is even a small ice-cubby where one can stand and look distorted, this is also how I saw the world after my 'several shot' cinnamon vodka I was given upon entry. We stayed for around half and hour and then headed to Ed's Diner for Burger, fries and malted chocolate shake before we rolled home for the evening.
That's it for now guys, I must dash and get ready for my date with the sexy magazine editor this evening. You know, wash my parts and iron my pants and all that. Ciao!
Dame Aleasha Swiffer and Ruthless in her Dorothy Gale dress..
Wednesday was my surprise from Thing 2, the younger of my sibling housemates. I had NO idea what she had planned for me, thinking something along the lines of street theatre or paintball. I met her at 6pm at Eros in Picadilly Circus where she led me to a small street off Regent St to a place called The Absolut Ice Bar! She paid our entry (£12 each but including a free drink) and we were given hooded ponchos and led into the bar itself....
As you can see the place is absolutely unreal, everything is carved from ice, the walls, the bar, the tables and even the glasses you drink from.
Here is Thing 2 peering through the ice portal carved into one of the booths, nicely modeling her silver poncho. The place was absolutely freezing and a welcome respite from the heat outside, although I can't see people staying down there for too long. It is somewhere ideal to take someone out on an unusual date, kick starting the evening before you go for a meal...
There is even a small ice-cubby where one can stand and look distorted, this is also how I saw the world after my 'several shot' cinnamon vodka I was given upon entry. We stayed for around half and hour and then headed to Ed's Diner for Burger, fries and malted chocolate shake before we rolled home for the evening.That's it for now guys, I must dash and get ready for my date with the sexy magazine editor this evening. You know, wash my parts and iron my pants and all that. Ciao!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Holy shit I am 30! How did that happen? Surprisingly the world has not ended, I can still manage an erection and I have resisted the urge to buy a porche and sleep with my secretary. Not that I have a secretary you understand, it's a figure of speech. Sigh, say goodbye to the old me...
My week long celebration has started in fine form despite the Birthday phone call from my father who mentioned that he was my age when I was born and that "You could be just like Daddy if you found yourself the right woman and settled down..." Bless him, he still thinks that 15+ years of homosexual infamy is "just a phase".
Saturday evening I visited that bastion of bourgeois bum-banditry, Duckie where I met J, Ruthless and Twisty for the kick off of my 7 days of sin. We watched a dance troupe of senior citizens perform a piece clad entirely in towels and drank and danced away in gay abandon fully fed by the vegetarian Barbecue served up by Amy Lame. I also got to meet that fine hunk of manhood The Pirate King who you may remember interviewed me not a week ago. He is even more delightful in the flesh and has very nimble fingers.
Somehow I even managed to attract the attentions of a rather cute man in a white t-short who I am going out on a date with on Thursday. Ruthless spotted him looking at me before I did and so we did a brief walkpast for a better look and both agreed that he was indeed VFH (Very Fucking Hot), Bingo Kitty indeed. I then proceeded to forget about him as I chatted to my friends and drank more sugar based alcopops that one should really consume in a lifetime (or Newcastle). Upon leaving however he rushed up and asked for my number, no kiss, no conversation beforehand but an opportunity not wasted as we have texted since then and the date arranged. SO Birthday sex may not be completely off the cards yet. Watch this space...
Sunday I took Ms Marika Martini, J, Pan the Knacker and Liana to Leeds castle for the day where we managed to get hopelessly lost in this...
No, seriously I am not kidding we were stuck in that damn thing for about half an hour. Eventually the lady standing on the hill in the centre had to direct us out and all our illusions of being the Famous Five were dashed against the rocks. So instead we forget the lashings of ginger beer and ate a fabulous feast upon a mackintosh square, more photographs can be found at my FlickR account. Do feel free to look around.
More updates later in the week, my vodka hand is getting sore...
My week long celebration has started in fine form despite the Birthday phone call from my father who mentioned that he was my age when I was born and that "You could be just like Daddy if you found yourself the right woman and settled down..." Bless him, he still thinks that 15+ years of homosexual infamy is "just a phase".
Saturday evening I visited that bastion of bourgeois bum-banditry, Duckie where I met J, Ruthless and Twisty for the kick off of my 7 days of sin. We watched a dance troupe of senior citizens perform a piece clad entirely in towels and drank and danced away in gay abandon fully fed by the vegetarian Barbecue served up by Amy Lame. I also got to meet that fine hunk of manhood The Pirate King who you may remember interviewed me not a week ago. He is even more delightful in the flesh and has very nimble fingers.
Somehow I even managed to attract the attentions of a rather cute man in a white t-short who I am going out on a date with on Thursday. Ruthless spotted him looking at me before I did and so we did a brief walkpast for a better look and both agreed that he was indeed VFH (Very Fucking Hot), Bingo Kitty indeed. I then proceeded to forget about him as I chatted to my friends and drank more sugar based alcopops that one should really consume in a lifetime (or Newcastle). Upon leaving however he rushed up and asked for my number, no kiss, no conversation beforehand but an opportunity not wasted as we have texted since then and the date arranged. SO Birthday sex may not be completely off the cards yet. Watch this space...
Sunday I took Ms Marika Martini, J, Pan the Knacker and Liana to Leeds castle for the day where we managed to get hopelessly lost in this...
No, seriously I am not kidding we were stuck in that damn thing for about half an hour. Eventually the lady standing on the hill in the centre had to direct us out and all our illusions of being the Famous Five were dashed against the rocks. So instead we forget the lashings of ginger beer and ate a fabulous feast upon a mackintosh square, more photographs can be found at my FlickR account. Do feel free to look around.
More updates later in the week, my vodka hand is getting sore...
Friday, June 23, 2006
Only 2 and a bit days left until I am 30! Isn't it funny how everyone seems to ask "How are you feeling?" or "Nervous about the big day?". People seem determined to make more out of it than there is. It can't be any more traumatic than when I finally became to old for a young persons railcard can it? Surely not? Ok, where was I? Oh yes, Monday. I had a point to make I am sure of it, but what was it? Damn, I am so easily distracted.
That was it! PRESENTS. Hopefully the sympathy card will come into play here and people will buy me extra thoughtful presents in the vain hope of distracting me from impending retirement. Presents or cake. Come on, you know you want to see me happy....
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain
That was it! PRESENTS. Hopefully the sympathy card will come into play here and people will buy me extra thoughtful presents in the vain hope of distracting me from impending retirement. Presents or cake. Come on, you know you want to see me happy....
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain
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