Well I must say I feel rather smug about myself today. I negated the sins of watching big brother by watching it from the comfort of 'Thing One's' new rowing machine. You can always count on a lady gardener to have the latest in sporting equipment lying around the house for a fattening fag to purloin on occasion. See, it's not all putting up shelves, making ice-cram and owning cats with our lesbionic sisters. No sir! I swear I can feel that six pack inside me screaming for release (It's saying "Let me OUT man, I haven't seen daylight in nigh on twenty years")

This is all part of my "Turning 30 in 24 days plan" and where I write plan, you should read "Nervous Breakdown". After yon birthday the cigarettes are gone, the diet is started and swimming and Yoga will be added to the rowing machine in my exercise repertoire. You see, I figure if I fill my life with these things, I can look other gays in the eye, clasp their arms heartily and say "Yes, brother. NOW I know what you go through, let us be carnal together"

No, seriously these are things I have wanted to do for a while with only half hearted attempts. These are things I SHOULD do and turning 30 can be the spur I need to do it and therefore turn aging into a positive process.

Needless to say, the week of my birthday I am going to drink, smoke and shag like a trooper and eat my bodyweight in cheese and chocolate spread. Ah my friends, I will miss you...