Friday, March 02, 2007

I spotted this little chap on my way to work and It got me thinking...Is life so stressful in London that it even forces the pigeons to turn to alcohol and cigarettes? It has been a funny few weeks and today kind of capped it for me, my day was dull and little difficult and ended with me saying farewell to a lovely girl who is emigrating and I shall miss terribly, but two of my close friends had absolutely awful evenings, one unfortunate and one positively appalling. I wont go into detail about either as they are rather personal and I am not one to divulge personal details of friends lives unless there is some comic value in the retelling, but both of these were linked in some way, I believe, to city living. Being a part of that huge, anonymous, gray urban sprawl.

In a way it has been a bit of a kick in the pants for me. I realised that for the past few months I have been coasting along letting life happen to me, Just sitting back and sinking into that amorphous mass that is the inhabitants of any city in the world. Where has my drive gone? My enthusiasm and creativity? I haven't been unhappy per se, but I HAVE been incredibly passive (and SO not in the good way dammit) falling into a routine that was comfortable but static.

I think that I need to really work on getting myself out of this rut I have made for myself (mmm rut) and start concentrating on moving my life forward again. I will focus more on my writing, spend some time looking for another job and maybe do a course in something or other. I have been toying with the idea of expanding my practical skills in some way and maybe Project Runway/Catwalk will inspire me to do fashion design. Something I toyed with at college but never really threw myself into. Who knows what the future will hold if only I put my mind to it. It is about time I stopped advising other people and listened to what I am saying myself.

Wish me luck and pour me an Apple Martini, I may be home late tonight...


Anonymous said...

Thanks for prompting me that you're writing here again. I'm never quite sure where you are. What makes you want to use this nowadays? I'm not being critical, I'm just interested as I've had the same thought myself and wondered if you had the same feel as me about Live Journal lately?

Anonymous said...

I think you are right about London. Man I was born near where you live.

Nowadays I much prefer the community of living in a rural village with little butchers and green grocers and a field with horses. But, I'm only an hour away from London on the train and I still come there twice a week to socialise, so best of both worlds really.

Oh and I'm near to Ashford so i zip into Europe so easily as well.

The housing is much cheaper here as well.

Good luck with your plans my friend. Maybe we can have a coffee when I'm up next and you're free?


Unknown said...

You mobile yet?

Wanda said...

I think no matter where you land in the world, cities can drive any man, woman, and child to drink, smoke and fuck themselves dry. Why is this? You live your life surrounded by people in a metropolis of flaming energy, but nothing really changes and everyone starts looking the same, sounding the same, smelling the same. Wash it all away in the shower until you leave the house tomorrow and the same pigeons that fly overhead every morning suddenly shit on your favorite jacket. Thank God for the irony of it all.