Monday, May 12, 2008

Boy for hire...

My good friend Lady B works for a recruitment consultant or some such in the city and was telling me that a large part of her job is re-writing other peoples resume’s to make them more appealing to employers. She offered to take a look at what I do in an average day* and turn it into a sure fire job attracting sound bite for my CV.

This is what we came up with…

Get to work late - Flexible

Check personal and work emails- Diligent/organised

Insult my boss - Good working relationships

Take a phone call, wrong number, call a friend for 20 mins to talk about last nights TV and bitch about other friends - management of incoming and outgoing correspondence.

Eat a banana, it’s not enough, get up and get a chocolate bar from the machine - proactive

Flirt with the French intern - good at building relationships

Play on the internet, check blogs, buy stuff online, sign into messenger - technologically minded - used to dealing with packages such as Word, Excel, Powerpoint and internal company systems.

LUNCH - conscientious

Check personal and work emails again. Ignore work emails. - good eye for details

Boss insults me. - able to deal with sensitive situations and information.

Eat a pear, spill juice on my shirt. Sneak out and buy a new t-shirt to wear out that evening. - good problem solving skills

Wander down the corridor to chat to my mates. - used to managing people
and third party relationships

Look at shirtless boys on the internet - good at researching and honing

Have a cup of tea - good at monitoring service standards

Sneak home early.... - excellent time management skills

I would SO hire me!

* I would like to point out that I DO actually do work and enjoy my job (Hello IT, I am on a break now I promise!)


Anonymous said...

Sooooooo my best mate has a blog now eh? I am Lady B in case anyone was wondering. Looks like you could be a cross between Perez Hilton and Carrie Bradshaw...imagine what the offspring of that would look like! Keep it up honey bun...I'm loving it!

Tim said...

heh for the amount of work I do, I'm still amazed at my side options!
London was great, i couldn't believe my luck with the weather

Clint said...

Oh yes! The weather was absolutely Gorgeous. I was away in Gran Canaris for the week before the sun hit so managed about a fortnight of ogling the shirtless boys...

How come you didn't look me up boy?

Clint said...

LADY B!!! (Formerly known as Lisa on here folks)

I had to check to see if I had spilled any of your dirtier secrets on this blog. Luckily I didn't mention your penchant for the riding crop and rubber!

Oh, whoops!

Anonymous said...

I would hire you too. Its interesting how your able to turn all these little things into something that sounds really good.

Really nice blog, reminds me that I'm coming to London in 3 months.... Yay. Cant Wait.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comment mate, I'll definitely take you up on that offer. I'll be in London a few days by myself before my straight friend comes so we definitely will have some fun ^^.

Anonymous said...

Dirty secrets moi? Non mon cheri I am as pure as the driven snow and with a mind to match!

Not.The.Actress said...

Good at researching and honing skills. Buddy, I'd hire you in a blink.

;) Wonderful!

Shonda Little said...

I laughed my ass off at this, especially looking at cute boys on the internet. Hilarious!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Read blogs = Excellent social media networking skills.

Ps. You're invited.

isthismint. said...

you do work... when?