Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Gaymosexual's Guide to Dating. Lesson 2

Ok, this it a brief section on tips and tricks for that phase in between the first meeting and the first date. You have ordered your food, so to speak, and this lesson is the breadsticks and olives you nibble on before the meal.

1) This is especially for my friend Miss CASSt. Never EVER state how you feel towards someone in a text message, an email or most importantly a letter. Flirting is fine, casual questions and arrangements are fine, information and banter is fine. But I cannot stress enough how much of a misjudgment it is to even write an innocuous statement such as "I really like you". One can never gauge the tone of a written statement accurately, no matter how well you write it, also, you never know the mood of that person when they receive it and this can change their perception of it hugely. SO NO, Put that pen DOWN girl.

2) Seed your communications with interesting facts about yourself, but never elaborate too much. For example "It was SO busy at work today, its a good job I used to dance or I would NEVER have made it through the crowds" When he asks, "what dance did you do?" Or "You must be flexible then?" you did, say "Oh, I will tell you all about it when I see you, it's too much to go into now"

Obviously, you can put any activity or hobby in there, but this tip works on two different levels. A) It makes you intriguing and he will be thinking about you and what you are going to tell him, thus keeping him at the forefront of your mind and B) Saving up important conversation points for the date, thus leading to....

3) Think of 10 questions that you can ask your beau during the evening to spur the conversation on. Sometimes on a first date the conversation can flow and it will get to 1am and you will wonder where the time/your knickers have gone. Other times, there can be a perfectly enjoyable evening with a lovely man, but those awkward moments where you are very aware that one of you needs to think of something to talk about QUICKLY!

So, have in your head some questions that relate to him in some way another. Think of what you DO know about him Work, job, hobbies, friends in common etc and save them up for any potentially dry moments in the evening. Dry is NOT what we are aiming for here people. Try and avoid any of the usual "What is your favorite band/movie/ice-cream" and go for something that will spark off a story. If you are on a date with a man and he finds that at the end of the evening he has talked about himself for the whole night, I guarantee you that he will want that second date and come away thinking he had a brilliant evening...

Next.... The hours BEFORE the date.

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