Saturday, March 31, 2007


Pinkies

Thing 1 and I coined a new word today.

It is a habit of the press in the UK to coin acronyms for different social classes, I am not sure how widespread this habit is, or whether is is just a British thing but in the past few decades we had YUPPIES (Young Urban Professional), YUMMY (Young Upwardly Mobile Mum) and then DINKIES (Double Income No Kids). Now I am surprised nobody has come up with this before, but after some thorough research (5 minutes on google) we decided that we were the first people to use the word PINKIE in reference to outr neighbours. Not because they are some kind of communist household, but rather that they are a well established gay couple with a decent income and their own house. PINKIE stands for Pink Income No Kids.

We hear a lot of tales in the gay community of how strong the Pink Pound is and how lucrative a target market we are and I think it is true. I mean seriously, did they really think it was kids that kept Steps at the top of the charts for so long? Would Dolly Parton have been wealthy enough to build the kingdom of camp that is Dollywood if not for those Cowboys in rhinestones that *ahem* admire Tom of Finland so much? And KD Lang's Ingenue album certainly did not chart so high through her dress sense.

Our Gaybours (also a new word copyright Thing 1 and Gaymo) are constantly upgrading their house. Almost each month there is a new bathroom being added or a new super wide, flatscreen tv appearing in another room/hall/toilet/cupboard. It is quite heartwarming to think that whilst our wonderful heterosexual brothers and sisters often do not get to spend their money on themselves until the kids have been thrown into the real world by the scruff of their necks, we only have ourselves and occasional cats and dogs to spend out hard earned money on.

Of course I am certainly not there yet, still being a hedonistic singleton who spends his hard earned cash on Pink Converse and impressing boys. Thankfully, here is where the gaycosystem REALLY starts to work. What do those PINKIES do with all the 6 month old electronics, furniture, gadgets and porn that is now so horrendously out of date? Why they donate it to us younger, less upwardly mobile (more horizontally stationary) homos!! This is why our living room sports two newish trendy sofas and a fabulous new Television. It is Nurture over nature at its best.

Thing 1 has just informed me that PINKIES should really be reserved for gay men, our sapphic sisters apparently should henceforth be referred to as LICKERS (Lesbian Income, Cat, Kids, Exes, Renovations, Strap-ons)

Go forth my minons and work hard to ensure that these are in the Oxford English Dictionary as soon as possible. Fly my pretties, FLY!

3 comments:

james said...

I like it lots! Try adding it to Wikkipedia or something x

Vanessa said...

Laughing so hard and somewhat scared by the term "Lickers". Am going to send this blog to everyone I know, babe.

Love you xx

David London said...

Oh my God you're too funny! Pinkies? Wow...I have learned a new word today. I think I'll start making up my own, so thanks for the inspiration.

David

http://www.davidlondongallery.com